Distinct sources of self-discrepancies: effects of being who you want to be and wanting to be who you are on well-being.

Self-discrepancy theory contends that well-being depends, in part, on the amount of overlap between one's actual and ideal selves. There is a variety of supportive evidence, but Rabbi Hyman Schachtel's (1954, The real enjoyment of living, New York, NY, Dutton) contention that "happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have" (p. 37) highlights that a distinction between two potential sources of overlap between one's actual and ideal selves has been overlooked. Whereas most measures of ideal self-discrepancies index the extent to which people are who they want to be (i.e., ideal self-actualization [ISA]), others index the extent to which people want to be who they are (i.e., actual self-regard [ASR]). In several studies, we measured ideal self-actualization by asking people to identify traits they would ideally like to possess and rate the extent to which they had those traits. We also measured actual self-regard by asking participants to identify traits they possessed and indicate the extent to which they wanted those traits. In all 4 studies, ideal self-actualization and actual self-regard were distinct from one another (rs = .24 to .32) and both were distinct from self-compassion (Study 1) and global self-esteem (Study 4). Moreover, ASR consistently accounted for unique variance in aspects of well-being (e.g., subjective well-being, positive affect, psychological growth) and ISA often did so. Finally, a longitudinal study provided evidence that actual self-regard is a precursor, but not a consequence, of subjective well-being (Study 4).